How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
