Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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