Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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