Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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