C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
