i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
