He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
