The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So vagazzling was a success
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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