i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
