Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
