what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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