If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
