Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
