Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I love you.
Bad choice
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
