His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
