I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
