Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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