Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
