I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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