you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
