so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
