you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
