I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What drink are we having for lunch?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
