u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
