Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
