I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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