...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
