He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
third nipple confirmed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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