theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
