If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
