Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
