What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
