so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
