I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
