Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
