My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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