ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Watching her eat just hurts me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
