Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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