He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
