Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
