brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
