Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
