His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
