Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
