So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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