Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
where am i from again
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
