I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
