I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
