you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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