Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
