Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
