If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
